This Is This Week

This week, I wanted to share a little more about why I have been MIA from the blog.

As I briefly mentioned in my previous post, life got messy and overwhelming.

But sometimes, it helps to talk (or write) about it. So here goes…

The husband

My husband was recently hospitalized with a mystery illness.

This wasn’t exactly news to us since symptoms originally arose two years ago.

But no one has been able to properly diagnose or treat him – despite seeing nearly a dozen doctors.

Thankfully, he is doing somewhat better right now and the symptoms generally ebb and fade over longer stretches of time.

If we figure out any more details or actually receive a diagnosis, I’ll be sure to check back in.

The dog

Robyn recently shared how their family adopted a puppy.

Well, we actually rescued a dog too just a few short weeks after her.

My oldest daughter has been begging for a dog for years, and since Robyn’s kids are my kids’ cousins…well, you can put two and two together.

Life wasn’t seeming to get any less crazy, so why not add a dog too?

Of course, adopting him didn’t go quite as smoothly as Robyn’s adoption of Bolt, so I’ll share more about our puppy, Bear’s, story in a later post.

The hardest hit

The situation with my husband, J., and the new puppy have been challenging.

But the hardest part of the last few months has been grieving the loss of a dear friend.

Claudia was the most amazing person and a longtime friend of Robyn and mine.

She was the kind of person who made life fun.

She showed us how to relax, to be passionate, to love deeply.

A few years ago, Claudia was diagnosed with breast cancer.

She had a unique perspective on the whole situation and was firmly committed to fighting her battle with cancer on her own terms.

I admired the heck out of her for that.

She lived life from that point on – as she always had – on her own terms. She was fierce.

Recent Memories

I am so thankful because in the intervening years between her diagnosis and her passing, Robyn and I were able to spend two vacations with her.

On our first trip, both of our families traveled to spend several days with Claudia in the Outer Banks in North Carolina.

On our second vacation together, Robyn and I spent a girls-only weekend at her home in upstate New York.

“Amazing” isn’t really an adequate term to describe these trips, because time with Claudia was like nothing else.

The second trip, in particular, stands out in my mind because Claudia opened her home and shared a glimpse into her life.

She lived off the Eerie Canal, so we spent our days sitting on the dock watching the boats passing; enjoying delicious food together; filling our spirits and our hearts with love.

The last trip was in June, a celebratory trip to mark my birthday weekend, and it was glorious.

The final days

Then, November rolled around and we got the call.

Robyn and I immediately traveled back to upstate New York, initially thinking we would be helping her sister, who had journeyed up from Florida, to pack up some of Claudia’s belongings so that she could travel back to Florida to stay in the care of her sister.

When we arrived, though, we realized what her sister discovered upon arrival – Claudia was in no shape to travel and didn’t have even that much time left.

So instead, we spent the days in New York, spending time with her and learning more about her family.

Claudia’s final days were as beautiful as her life and just what she would have wanted – full of memories, food, laughter, music, and love.

It was the epitome of beauty amongst pain.

We returned home and she passed shortly after.

I wasn’t ready. Robyn wasn’t ready.

We didn’t expect it all to unfold so quickly.

I’ve lost other people in my life, but losing Claudia was different; she was young, vibrant…

Our kids were crushed too and their pain added to the burden I felt in the aftermath.

The last several months…

I share these memories of Claudia because she is the real reason we all finally banded together and started this blog.

Claudia believed in us and told Robyn and I to create the blog.

We brainstormed the name This is This Week while sitting around her kitchen table last June on that birthday trip.

She has been a part of this blog and will continue to be. So much of what Robyn and I do today is because of her words of wisdom, her inspiration, and her encouragement.

Grief is a tricky thing.

It has brought me so many places the last few months.

And the thing I have learned about grief is: there is no escaping it. You have to embrace it.

During our last visit to Claudia’s, as we helped to prepare for her departure, I took a windchime; she had so many chimes, and I thought it would be a wonderful way to remember her – every time the wind blows.

Well, it definitely does remind me of her and about the messiness of life; especially because it keeps falling down! Haha!

A few days after we returned from Claudia’s funeral, Robyn found a “Hello Gorgeous” mug while we were shopping at Target. Claudia used the word “gorgeous” all. the. time.

It felt like she was speaking to us from that superstore shelf.

Needless to say, we found a second mug and each brought one home that day.

I feel like this post seems a bit rambling, but isn’t that what grief is like? A bit all over the place?

And so the other thing I have learned is this: be kind to yourself.

Some days, we just need to rest when life feels heavy.

We need God to carry our burdens.

We need to skip the gym some days or go MIA from the blog.

Whether you are grieving or life is just hitting you with some other mess, give yourself some slack.

It’s OK if your meals for the day came out of a freezer or were delivered in a paper sack.

I won’t judge you if you needed a nap at 10:00 a.m. because you are just. plain. exhausted.

And there is no shame if you need some help because life stopped rambling and seemed to get stuck in a “nap-every-day, forgot-how-to-function” kind of cycle.

I’m thankful for friends and good habits that have carried me through this, and for the Lord who knows no burden too big.

So this week? Find joy in the little things when the big things in life are just too hard.